


Wanting

by enkiduu



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, S02E10: Quid Pro Ho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-01
Updated: 2016-12-01
Packaged: 2018-09-03 08:31:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8705149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enkiduu/pseuds/enkiduu
Summary: Everybody wants something from Lucifer, but he's always found wanting. Nobody has ever wanted Lucifer, just for him. Nobody else.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this because 1) I literally just watched the mid-season finale and have too many emotions now and 2) what do you mean that was the mid-season finale??

“I _was_ going to blow Chloe up, but Amenadiel talked me out of it,” Mother says casually.

Lucifer recoils. “You _what_?” he demands, horrified, trying to process the information.

_I was going to blow Chloe up._

His mother? He knew she’d wanted him to leave Los Angeles with her and Amenadiel, but…

She tried to kill Chloe _._ If Amenadiel didn't stop her, Chloe would be dead right now, and whose fault would that be?

Fury bursts inside Lucifer, red-hot- _dangerous_. He glares, eyes blazing with all the wrath of Hell, and for a moment he must forget that this is his mom because he snarls, a promise of eternal suffering, “Mother, I swear, if you hurt her I will _rip_ you—”

“Lucifer!” Mother cuts him off, appalled. She looks indignant and disapproving. Disappointed in him as if he's the traitor here, and that's terribly unfair when she's the one asking for something preposterous.

She lifts her chin and walks away.

Lucifer falters, feeling pained and guilty and lost. He'd just threatened his mother, and no, he hadn't forgotten who he was talking too. He knew. He meant every word of it.

Mother didn't seem very surprised either, did she? Disappointed, yes, but resigned, as if she expected it.

Lucifer exhales. It's not fair.

He trusts Chloe. It's foolish, he knows, but Chloe Decker is truly good, and the best thing to have happened to Lucifer. In fact, possibly the only good thing to have really happened to him. Everything else pales in comparison. Sometimes, he can't believe how such a human can exist in this world.

Lucifer frowns. Yes. It's clear that if anything, it's not Chloe who doesn't deserve him. Mother is wrong. It's the other way around.

The problem is…

Lucifer has never known if what Chloe desires includes him.

❧

“Everything I said in there was true,” Chloe says, a smile on her lips. Soft and genuine and, dare he say, precious.

Lucifer feels very… strange. There’s a warmth inside him that isn't (just) arousal. It’s a lot like hope, if hope is something that melts him and makes him feel vulnerable and awfully human.

He feels like he’s slipping and this fall will be much more devastating than the last one, because this time he has so much to lose, this time he _wants_ the fall even if it hurts.

Or maybe he fell a long time ago. He is a fallen angel, after all, so it is fitting. He's got no control over this, yet for once in his life, he doesn't care. This isn't about Dad or Mom or any of that, he won't let it. This is about Chloe. He wants Chloe. Hell, he wants Chloe to want him.

That is a scary thought, because when has the Devil ever gotten what he'd wanted?

Lucifer Morningstar is a wanted man, but never in the way that matters. Dad wants him to stick with the damned script he was given, Mom wants him to follow her. Demons want him because they don't exactly have another choice, do they? Lucifer understands.

And then those humans want him for what he can give: promises of gold, glory, pleasure, whatever they sell their souls for these days. Maybe even a cheeseburger.

Point is, never like this. It's never been like this.

Chloe holds onto his hand, grip gentle but sure, and Lucifer leans close, drawn in. So close. He can almost taste her, and he's never needed anything so badly, much less anyone.

Chloe wants him for him, Lucifer Morningstar.

_“Lucifer Morningstar does not lie,” she said, truth on her lips, one she believes. Such faith. Such blinding blind trust, it hurt to see. Lucifer couldn't look away. “He is not a liar.”_

Who is Lucifer Morningstar?

_“I don’t lie to you,” Lucifer said._

Who is he—?

Fuck. This is unacceptable.

Lucifer stands up abruptly.

Chloe stares and stands up slowly. “Lucifer?” she asks. “Hey, if you want to go slow, I'm down for more food,” she teases, not unkindly. In fact, perhaps too kindly. She doesn't blame him, or rush him, or force him to do anything.

She doesn't know him. She doesn't fucking know.

“Detective,” Lucifer says, a twinge of desperation in his voice. “You don't know me.”

Chloe’s smile fades into a more serious and attentive expression. “I assure you, I know you, Lucifer. What's going on?”

“I never get what I want. What if you're an illusion?” He frowns, something even worse occurring to him. “What if _I'm_ the illusion for you?” He laughs bitterly.

Chloe considers his words. “If you're talking about whatever dark secret you insist you're hiding from me… you can tell me. You don't scare me, Lucifer. Nothing, _nothing_ can change that.”

“You don't understand,” Lucifer says, and it almost sounds like a plea, a beg for mercy.

Chloe reaches out for his hand. “Show me, then. Let me understand.”

Lucifer stares back.

And then he shows her. A scorched red face, scarred and hideous and horrifying. 

He changes back, and is terrified that everything has changed.

“Ta-da,” Lucifer says. “I told you so.” He laughs faintly, but the sound chokes up in his throat like serrated glass. “Are you alright, Detective? Is it too late to say that was just some special effects?”

“Lucifer.” Chloe takes a deep breath, tears in her eyes, Lucifer’s heart in her hands, and says simply, “I know.”

Lucifer blinks.

Then blinks again.

What?

“Wait. Just to be clear, we _are_ talking about me being the Devil, yes?”

"Yes." Chloe nods. “Ruler of Hell. You mention it all the time."

“Well. Now _I_ don't understand.” Lucifer furrows his brows. “You… you knew."

“I'm a detective. It's my job to know things. And I know you, Lucifer. I believe you. You…” She sighs, smiles. “I'm fine with it. With you. You're still my Lucifer Morningstar.”

And that's all she says.

Lucifer doesn't get it. “That's it?”

“What did you expect?” Chloe peers at him. “Condemnation?”

“Well, _obviously_. At the very least. I _am_ the Devil,” Lucifer reminds, in case the Detective has taken on a case of amnesia.

“You don't deserve that. The world,” Chloe frowns at that, “including yourself, has punished you enough.”

Lucifer is confused. “You're not going to ask me for something? Or to change? Because I don't know if I can. I'll always be who I am.” He pauses. “ _What_ I am.”

“Oh, God,” Chloe says, looking sorry, then looking even sorrier for having said the G-word, then looking weirded out. She shakes her head. “Devil,” she amends. “It's not fair of me to judge you or ask you to change.” She smiles softly, gently. “I don't want anything from you. I want you," she confesses.  

Lucifer blinks wetly.

Everything _has_ changed. But the best part about that is that, shockingly, everything is still here. Chloe's right here, standing in front of him, with him. She hasn't left.

This what he couldn't bear to dream of. So long, he pretended the desire was only carnal, the fascination only temporary. He’s so afraid of rejection, so afraid of loss, that he's built a castle around him to shield himself.

Or perhaps to shield the world from him, to keep him in. A cage, not a castle. But here is Chloe, clever and amazing Chloe Decker, telling Lucifer that it's okay to be vulnerable, it's okay to let those walls down. To break free.

Chloe's not afraid of him. She wants him.

“Oh, Chloe,” Lucifer breathes. Chloe doesn't need to ask anything of him. He would give the whole world to her if that pleased her. What is the world compared to her?

He pulls Chloe into a deep, hungry kiss, moaning when he finally tastes her, so sweet. She kisses back, hand wrapping around his neck, mouth opening up and here, there are no lies.

“Lucifer,” she gasps, moaning.

 _"Yours_ ," Lucifer promises, and he means it too. “I'm yours.”

❧

The morning after, Chloe snuggles up against him.

Lucifer grins. “That was amazing, wasn't it?”

“It was good,” Chloe says.

“It was the _best_ sex of your life! Admit it.”

She grabs a pillow and hits him.

“Hey! No hitting. I've had enough punishment, remember?”

“You're insufferable, Lucifer.”

“Aw, thanks, Detective. You're too kind.”  

How strange, to have somebody believe in him like this. Lucifer smiles.

It's a true miracle. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I almost named this fic "Miracle" because of the reveal at the end of the mid-season finale, but I couldn't do it. The idea that Lucifer's father orchestrated Chloe's existence isn't surprising, but it sure does break my heart and piss me off at the same time. 
> 
> Anyway, please leave a kudos or comment if you liked! I love comments. It'd be awesome to hear what you guys think. It really helps me with the whole writing-fic thing. 
> 
> (Ugh, this show is so goooood. Pleeease come chat about it with me on tumblr while we wait together! I'm @promise-of-gold)


End file.
